I’ll just take the sand garden, thanks….
So this guy once told me that Zen Buddhism involves contemplating on unanswerable questions, and achieving peace and enlightenment in recognizing that not all things can be answered. Something about admitting powerlessness and finding freedom through it or something. But this is also the same guy that thought that unibrows were masculine and sexy, and women would flock to him if he grew one. Obviously not a critical observer of life, and certainly not someone I should be taking life advice from.
Because seriously, who thinks unanswerable questions are peaceful or enlightening? Aren’t they exactly the opposite? I want to know the answers to everything. You know that question in the “If…” game; If you could have any superhero power you wanted, what would it be? I would want to be omniscient; know all the answers, all the secrets, everything. (Everyone tells me this is a horrible wish, but I don’t care. And besides, that’s not the point of this topic.) I hate not knowing things.
Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize my life is doomed to be filled with perpetual mysteries. Three specific episodes of my life spring to mind: the Cypress ghost, the Wang Chung record, and the secret admirer.
1. Who was the Cypress ghost? Back during my freshman year at Humboldt State, my housemates in the Cypress dorm decided to have a séance. (On a tangent, my room number was 4420….Cool no? K, tangent off.) They asked me to join in on it, which was a mistake as I am the biggest skeptic of that kind of stuff. Plus I have a rather wicked sense of humor. These roommates were pretty gullible, so I decided to have a little fun with them. I put on this show of pretending to be possessed, started crying and shaking, whole deal. The gang completely freaked out, and decided to stop the séance because they seriously thought they had invited some evil spirit to be hosted in my body. The next morning, my roommate and I woke up and went into the kitchen/dining room, where we had held the séance the night before, and found all the furniture placed upside down and the candles and stuff placed in a pentagram shape. My roommate freaked, and woke up the rest of the house, who all blamed me for it. At that point they had figured out my trick from the previous night and were none too happy about it. But the thing was, I didn’t pull this little prank. I wish I had though, because it was total genius. I suspicion that it was the brother of one of the girls, but he never admitted to it. My roommate was the only person who believed it wasn’t me. But that’s because she was convinced it was a ghost, and actually hired a medium to perform a spirit-exorcising rite before she would ever use the kitchen again.
2. Who wanted me to “Wang Chung tonight”? About a year ago, I was cleaning my room and about to do the monthly flip of my mattress. (Yes, I do this monthly. It’s a really nice bed and I want it to stay that way. And yes, if this makes me an anal retentive nerd, so be it.) When I lifted up the mattress, there, lying in stark contrast to the white boxspring was a black 45 of Wang Chung’s single “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”. I was struck speechless. I did not own it and I’d never seen it anywhere before. After some of my confusion wore off, I called everyone I knew that was weird enough to do something like that, and had access to my house in the last month, but no one fessed up. Oddly, as my friend and I were in front of my house discussing the strangeness of it all, my neighbor across the street started singing the song randomly (he did not know about the whole thing). I ended up giving the record to him, figuring it was a sign. But I still don’t know who slipped it in my bed.
3. Who is my secret admirer? The final mystery. A recent one as well; it just happened this last Saturday, February 12th. Someone sent flowers and a teddy bear to my work signed ‘from a secret admirer’. I had no clue who could have sent it. I called the florist who delivered the gift, but they wouldn’t tell me who it was from. So it’s been a week now, and no one has come forward, and all my leads have proven wrong. I’m starting to think I’ll never know. This sucks, because I was hoping it would be some really hot man who would take me out on a decent date for once. (The last real date I remember was back in July, and after dinner, the guy got a call from his ex and proceeded to talk to her for the next hour instead of going to a movie like we had planned. He was shocked to discover this annoyed me.) However, with my luck, I figure it would be someone really loathsome and old enough to have spawned me. Sigh…..
So no more goddamn mysteries, okay? I’ve filled my lifetime quota, I’ve admitted I’m powerless, and I'm not any closer to reaching nirvana. So if anyone knows any useful information leading to the discovery of the truth to any of the above stories, please tell me.
Because seriously, who thinks unanswerable questions are peaceful or enlightening? Aren’t they exactly the opposite? I want to know the answers to everything. You know that question in the “If…” game; If you could have any superhero power you wanted, what would it be? I would want to be omniscient; know all the answers, all the secrets, everything. (Everyone tells me this is a horrible wish, but I don’t care. And besides, that’s not the point of this topic.) I hate not knowing things.
Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize my life is doomed to be filled with perpetual mysteries. Three specific episodes of my life spring to mind: the Cypress ghost, the Wang Chung record, and the secret admirer.
1. Who was the Cypress ghost? Back during my freshman year at Humboldt State, my housemates in the Cypress dorm decided to have a séance. (On a tangent, my room number was 4420….Cool no? K, tangent off.) They asked me to join in on it, which was a mistake as I am the biggest skeptic of that kind of stuff. Plus I have a rather wicked sense of humor. These roommates were pretty gullible, so I decided to have a little fun with them. I put on this show of pretending to be possessed, started crying and shaking, whole deal. The gang completely freaked out, and decided to stop the séance because they seriously thought they had invited some evil spirit to be hosted in my body. The next morning, my roommate and I woke up and went into the kitchen/dining room, where we had held the séance the night before, and found all the furniture placed upside down and the candles and stuff placed in a pentagram shape. My roommate freaked, and woke up the rest of the house, who all blamed me for it. At that point they had figured out my trick from the previous night and were none too happy about it. But the thing was, I didn’t pull this little prank. I wish I had though, because it was total genius. I suspicion that it was the brother of one of the girls, but he never admitted to it. My roommate was the only person who believed it wasn’t me. But that’s because she was convinced it was a ghost, and actually hired a medium to perform a spirit-exorcising rite before she would ever use the kitchen again.
2. Who wanted me to “Wang Chung tonight”? About a year ago, I was cleaning my room and about to do the monthly flip of my mattress. (Yes, I do this monthly. It’s a really nice bed and I want it to stay that way. And yes, if this makes me an anal retentive nerd, so be it.) When I lifted up the mattress, there, lying in stark contrast to the white boxspring was a black 45 of Wang Chung’s single “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”. I was struck speechless. I did not own it and I’d never seen it anywhere before. After some of my confusion wore off, I called everyone I knew that was weird enough to do something like that, and had access to my house in the last month, but no one fessed up. Oddly, as my friend and I were in front of my house discussing the strangeness of it all, my neighbor across the street started singing the song randomly (he did not know about the whole thing). I ended up giving the record to him, figuring it was a sign. But I still don’t know who slipped it in my bed.
3. Who is my secret admirer? The final mystery. A recent one as well; it just happened this last Saturday, February 12th. Someone sent flowers and a teddy bear to my work signed ‘from a secret admirer’. I had no clue who could have sent it. I called the florist who delivered the gift, but they wouldn’t tell me who it was from. So it’s been a week now, and no one has come forward, and all my leads have proven wrong. I’m starting to think I’ll never know. This sucks, because I was hoping it would be some really hot man who would take me out on a decent date for once. (The last real date I remember was back in July, and after dinner, the guy got a call from his ex and proceeded to talk to her for the next hour instead of going to a movie like we had planned. He was shocked to discover this annoyed me.) However, with my luck, I figure it would be someone really loathsome and old enough to have spawned me. Sigh…..
So no more goddamn mysteries, okay? I’ve filled my lifetime quota, I’ve admitted I’m powerless, and I'm not any closer to reaching nirvana. So if anyone knows any useful information leading to the discovery of the truth to any of the above stories, please tell me.
posted by Marissa at 11:36 AM
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